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She told me that the way I’m mooning over Chris is inappropriate.

You do not have to confine yourself to only building work relationships with people of your same sex — and imagine how constricting and bad for women’s networking and mentoring and general advancement it would be if you did.

And no, it is not inappropriate to occasionally text your supervisor when he’s given you his number for that express purpose.

She told me that if Chris and I were friends outside of the office, it would be okay, but because we’re not, I shouldn’t be trying to be friendly with him at work.

She commented on how Chris was having a “flirty” conversation with a grad student the other day, and I walked into his office to ask a question, and didn’t leave right away, and it “made Chris really uncomfortable.”At that point I was mortified, because I realized that Chris must have asked her to talk to me about it. The next day I approached Chris to apologize, and also to ask that he come to me directly in the future if he ever has any issues, because being lectured by Brenda is humiliating.

She told me that I’m being naive, said I need to pay more attention to my actions and whether or not someone is wearing a wedding ring, and told that student (a doctoral candidate in his late twenties) that he was not to return to the office when I’m working.

We chat and joke around, and he gave me his cell phone number so that if something is happening in the office while he’s out at lunch or something, I can get in touch with him.He’s also teaching me to do some of the functions of his job, because he plans on leaving in the next year or two and he wants someone to be able to pick up the slack.We’ve texted on non-work things a few times — I watched a movie he recommended and told him what I thought, etc.I’m inclined to believe him, because he’s a very direct and sometimes brutally honest person.I’ve never made any romantic overtures toward Chris, nor he to me.If she didn’t, then you could be very blunt and simply say, “Please stop telling me how I should and shouldn’t interact with colleagues.

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