Ten commandments of dating pdf geo love dating

In general, I’m all about breaking rules, making your own, or not following any to begin with — but I also know that these 10 commandments of dating are better off being followed.You’re responsible for and need to take charge of your own happiness.I could discuss at length why I think this is: poor societal socialization, the ever-present double standard, mothers coddling their sons, fathers absolving their sons of responsibility, a learned disrespect for women, male privilege or just plain bad manners…or most likely a combination of all of these things. So when we go out in the dating world with all of that self-love, we’re really looking for a man who can add value to our lives. We’re looking for men who can be strong partners, who are confident and secure in themselves. Who can respect our education and work experience and full lives and add to it with their own. If they come up and you disagree, it’s entirely okay to get into an argument about it and to return to more neutral subjects. It seems a sad, strange business, particularly when you’re saying you want a relationship. It’s attractive when someone is body positive and secure about who they are and how they look.

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This isn’t about changing my sexuality or even evaluating it. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when so few men have distinguished themselves with kindness. But I think that’s too simplistic, and I don’t know that any other generation set such a high standard (antiquated laws without gender equity demonstrate my point here). Maybe it’s that this generation of women (of course, I’m basing this on my own experience and I know that this doesn’t include all women) is less willing to put up with bullsh*t. We’re beginning to reclaim our body confidence and to embrace our authentic selves. Open doors, pay the tab, do all of those traditional things. And I know that almost no one does it anymore, but flowers or candy are still nice gestures. If you don’t know what mansplaining is, please educate yourself and don’t ever do it again. I will say that I don’t find that I have chemistry with just anyone. Making jokes about your height or weight may seem like a good way to ease the tension, but sometimes it just comes across as insecure and needy. Be flattering, show interest without condescension, and if you’re not interested, you can express that kindly. It would have been so much easier to hear that he was interested in someone else than to be treated like I don’t exist and that our time together meant less than nothing to him. Maybe you’re the one who reminds us why we really do like men. I keep looking at our dating culture and our society, and we’re all contributing to that society.

I just mean that I’ve taken a close look at my dating history, and I’ve come to the conclusion that men aren’t always very nice. That particular masculine scent or the way they carry themselves? We’ve learned how to build happy, independent lives. And it never hurts to avoid controversial topics on a first date such as politics and religion. There’s not a bigger turnoff on Earth than a man trying to educate us on our own opinion or, heaven forbid, attempt to educate us about our experience of being women, you know from the male-privilege point of view. And I find it a wee bit insulting that we’re skipping getting-to-know-each-other part for the getting-each-other-naked part. Foreplay includes that slow build-up of getting to know one another—taking those smaller steps along the way. Particularly since size doesn’t necessarily equate to knowing how to operate said equipment. And why ask to see us naked before you’ve actually seen us, you know, clothed? We all have our points of insecurity, but we all find confidence to be sexy. Have some consideration for the feelings of others and not just your own feelings of fear and avoidance of conflict. Maybe you’ll be the one to remind us that you have wonderful hearts and souls, and we’ll be happy to spend as much time in your company as we can.

(I do realize that this doesn’t apply to all men, and I’ve excluded several I know personally from this list.). And we’re viewing the dick pic we get sent on first acquaintance with an eye roll (or a chuckle, depending) before deleting and blocking that number. And most of you are still sitting up in your hospital bed tapping away at your phone, on social media, chatting with your friends.

That this generation of men just don’t measure up to a previous standard. Even as mothers, we’re used to managing the multitude of responsibilities that come our way, often single-handedly. Show that you put some effort into the evening as well. I will never, ever understand why men I don’t know actually expect me to volunteer if I’m going to sleep with them or not. I’m not going to perpetuate that particular double standard. It’s great to be called attractive, but I can’t recall when I was last so insulted at an attempt at a compliment! Say whatever it is you’re feeling, which I know is counter-intuitive to how men are socialized and to a dishonest dating culture. Speaking from the receiving end of that treatment, it is beyond painful. Maybe you’re the nice guy (and I don’t mean that as the insult people often take it for these days) that makes us glad we stayed in the dating game. Because in the end, we can all do with a little more honesty out there and just a little more consideration for each other.

If your relationship is still in its early stages, though, you really need to be careful you don’t alienate the people who love you. We’re not meant to spend our lives being miserable.

If your relationship crashes and burns, you want them to still be there for you, right? Do both of you a favor and leave your relationship if it’s sinking.

Don’t expect a man to make you happy if you’re unhappy with your life.

You don’t need him to be happy, and being with him just because you want him to transform your life is immature and a recipe for disaster.

We’re definitely not at all impressed with a dating culture eaten up by dishonesty. Go ahead and fly whatever freak flag you’re hiding because we’re going to figure it out sooner or later, and if it’s later, we might be a bit p*ssed that you hid it—particularly if been honest at each juncture.

It seems that most men think honesty is actually taboo when most women are truly ready for it. What’s funny is that I’m not even bitter about relationships or even about men. When I go out on a date, I’m interested in knowing more about the person I’m seeing. It’s great to check in every day and ask how we’re doing.

So I guess I offer this inner dialogue up for public consumption because I think the dating world is much harsher than it needs to be, and I don’t feel like men understand why women are perhaps less than receptive to their advances. When the date is confirmed and then you aren’t in contact until then, I’m questioning your motives, and I’m wondering if I’m actually going to get stood up.

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