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A graphic designer with 11 years of sobriety and a Bettie Page look, she struggles with what she calls her “Alanon issues.” “It’s hard,” she says, “because I feel like I know what he’s supposed to be doing and that’s when I find myself analyzing whether he’s doing it or not.” Dr.Deborah Sweet is a psychologist who treats addiction and trauma.
I know some couples for whom relapse is a deal breaker. For a long-term relationship in the program, you’re probably going to see the best success when one or both partners have at least five years sober and when they both have a sponsor, a network of friends in recovery, and have worked the 12 steps.
Ultimately, it’s all about narrowing the odds.” While she adds that “two people with 30 days sober might make it, chances are, they will need more time and to have gone through the program to find a healthy relationship.”Anderson agrees, explaining, “There is always the timing element.
For him, romance and recovery can be a highly successful combination—if done right.
“I think it’s much easier dating a fellow alcoholic,” he says. There is nothing worse than having to ask someone to brush their teeth before you kiss them because they’ve been drinking.
While some people can easily relate to and embrace the fact that everyone has a past, others can find it hard to reconcile the two.
If you’ve decided to move forward with the relationship, here are some dos and don’ts that will make dating someone in recovery a lot easier for both of you.There’s an old joke in recovery circles that goes: how do you know when a date between two sober alcoholics has gone well?Punch line: They move in together before it's over.It can be fantastic.” While Bryan admits it hasn’t always been easy, he now believes that when both people are in the program, “they’re more willing to work on themselves.They also usually have friends and sponsors and people they can get support from—a lot of whom are also in successful sober relationships.”But what happens when only one person in a relationship is working a program of recovery and the other one is not?When I want to suggest that my husband calls his sponsor, I have to remember that he has his own program.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating