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If you've ever watched any three nights of his show, you know that Olbermann went to Cornell.

But he always forgets to mention that he went to the school that offers classes in milking and bovine management.

It may seem cruel to reveal the true college of someone who already wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat worried that he's a fraud.

But I believe that by pointing out that Olbermann actually is a fraud, I am liberating him.

I wouldn't mention it, except that Olbermann savages anyone who didn't go to an impressive college.

As it happens, he didn't go to an impressive college, either.

Kurulus amacimizin en onemli unsuru Devletcilik olmustur.

Ulkemizin kurumlarina, devlet adamlarina, manevi degerlerimize yapilan saygisizliklari ulkemizin butunlugune yapilan bir saldiri olarak goruruz ve ona gore adimlarimizi belirleriz.

Keith went to an affiliated state college at Cornell, the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (average SAT: about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina; acceptance rate: 1 of every 1.01 applicants). Weill, Floyd Abrams, Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Ginsburg, Janet Reno, Henry Heimlich and Harold Bloom.

Olbermann's incessant lying about having an "Ivy League education" when he went to the non-Ivy League ag school at Cornell would be like a graduate of the Yale locksmithing school boasting about being a "Yale man." Among the graduates of the Ivy League Cornell are Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Thomas Pynchon, Paul Wolfowitz, E. Graduates of the ag school include David Le Neveu of the Anaheim Ducks, Mitch Carefoot of the Phoenix Road Runners, Darren Eliot, former professional hockey player, and Joe Nieuwendyk, multiple Stanley Cup winner.

Indeed, Keith is constantly lying about his nonexistent "Ivy League" education, boasting to Playboy magazine, for example: "My Ivy League education taught me how to cut corners, skim books and take an idea and write 15 pages on it, and also how to work all day at the Cornell radio station and never actually go to class." Except Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old Mac Donald Cornell.

The real Cornell, the School of Arts and Sciences (average SAT: 1,325; acceptance rate: 1 in 6 applicants), is the only Ivy League school at Cornell and the only one that grants a Bachelor of Arts degree.

You may not realize it now, Keith, but you will look back on this day and say, "That was the best thing that ever happened to me!

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