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Instead, assume if you’ve been talking to a woman for a minimum of 15-30 minutes (at a bar or on a date), it’s safe to try leading into more enticing conversation.

From there, you can immediately roll into your sexual question to open up a discussion.

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(Examples go from lighter to heavier) Remember that these subjects often trigger feelings of shame and defensiveness.

Sometimes, you will be met with hesitation and surprise when asking a woman a more intimate question.

“My friend and I just made a bet and we want you to settle it. ” I’d just read some pick-up advice that told me to approach girls in bars with that question. They even began debating each other and trying to argue their viewpoints playfully to me.

We all do it, it’s not a big deal.” As I awaited the wrath of three women, I was surprised to hear them laughing and sharing their opinions.

So I tried again with another group, and then another. After downing a drink (or two), I decided to try again with another group.

After a couple of minutes, we were all introducing ourselves and hitting it off like old friends.

Why did women suddenly respond with enthusiasm rather than distaste?

Whether it’s friends, family, religion, or media — many of us were raised to think that expressing our sexual interest (flirting) was wrong. This is especially true for many women who are afraid of being seen as “slutty” or too forward.

With a tipsy grin I shot back, “Oh please, we’re all adults here.

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