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Following a challenge by a female friend to record his opinions and adventures in the (futile) hope that he would retroactively realise his own superficiality, Woolcot began his blog the and published the resulting book, .

If you are not familiar with the phenomenon, say hello to clueless, and if rollercoaster-ish romance is a taste you are keen on giving a try, be my guest and enjoy the ride. Still looking to hunt for a red-pants-gel-haired viking ? Like their female counterparts, they’re quite exquisite.

As much as I love exoticism and variety, I believe in eating local wherever I go, so Dutch men it is. Dutch men are overall well-travelled, sporty and ambitious.

Woolcot tackles modern courtship conundrums head on, including: › the intricacies of online dating sites like Relatieplanet and Lexa › the finer points of smart-phone based platform Tinder › tips on how to hunt supposedly spoiled and unromantic Dutch men › the best approaches to win over "ferocious" Dutch ladies › and more practical advice like what to cook to avoid intimidating a Dutchie at home (avoid extravagance at all costs! His outsider position and undeniably British propensity for deadpan humour allow him to entertainingly express his criticisms, observations and, at times, praise about being a foreigner in the Lowlands.

In spite of his taste for fine dining, elegantly tailored suits and rigorous grooming regimes, his muse and object of criticism has become the oddities of Dutch culture.

ʺ, ʺWhich international school in Amsterdam should our kids attend?

ʺ or, ʺHow do I obtain a work permit for my spouse at the Dutch municipality in The Hague?

Sure, it’s OK to split the bill (see deadly mistake n.3 here) and of course, we understand it takes time to get to know someone. we’re not teens anymore and I refuse to turn into a machiavelic love soldier.

Who hasn’t heard all sorts of “Dutch boys like it when you’re mean to them” or “it only took us seven months to be officially boyfriend and girlfriend”? Pictured: The Dutch Dating Game (“Twister dial” by Bitch Buzz – The Twister Clock.

Filled with hilarious anecdotes, bits of advice encased in thick sarcasm and nuanced observations of Dutch cultural oddities, proved to be only his first foray into anthropological commentary.

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