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With an intuition honed over 30 years of marriage, she knows exactly where her husband is."I'll bet you anything he's sitting in the bar on the other side of the lobby," she says, raising an eyebrow.

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Phil Mc Graw has worn multiple hats in his 57 years — college football star, clinical psychologist, trial consultant, best-selling author, talk show phenomenon.

But in the most basic ways, he is still pretty much like every guy on Earth: reluctant to admit he's lost, and even more reluctant to ask for directions.

They don't realize how expensive it is to have children. So first, you have to get real about what a fixed expense is. Be in it together, and come up with a realistic plan.

And so before long, racking up debt has become a way of life, and they're so mired down that it can feel hopeless. And if you can't stick to it, sit down with your spouse and renegotiate. Make sure you both realize that you're in this together.

"I'll be bouncing around," she says, "then I'll look at him and say, 'Come on, you gotta give me something! ' But he'll just stand there and say, 'Yeah, I'm real happy,' and that's it. "She's always known I'm not the kind of guy who is going to cry with her at movies, or hold our babies and gush," he says. But to see him with his wife is to understand that he's probably learned the most at home. Phil and Robin Mc Graw talk about the five biggest obstacles to a happy marriage, and share their insights on how to build a better bond. Phil: If you ask me, that's the one major reason why marriages fail.

If people fail to prepare themselves for the hard work that is required, that's the biggest problem.

Well, sometimes electrified fences make for good in-laws. Each person should take care of their own family tree, because you've got the most history with your mom, and he's got the most history with his parents.

Now, that's not to say that you shouldn't be close to your family. Therefore, if you've got a mother who is just on your husband's case all the time about this or that, or how you ought to be raising your kids, step up and say something to her. And accordingly, if your mother-in-law is getting on your last nerve, say to your husband: "She's your mother, you get her to back off." If he says, "Well, but you're the one that has a problem with her; you work it out" — no, no, no.

It was important that I learn about what sort of husband he wanted to be, and for him to learn what kind of wife I wanted to be, and what kind of mother I wanted to be, how I wanted to live my life as his wife. It's not too late to sit down with your husband and say, "I think we need to come to an understanding about what I can give to you, and what you can give to me, and what we can really expect from each other." That's a whole lot better than walking around resenting each other because you've got unrealistic expectations that aren't being met. If you're trying to get out of debt, you have to be willing to treat everything as expendable.

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