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In fact, data from a study at Harvard of over 3,000 young adults 18-25 indicated that 70% want to talk with parents about love and 65% wish they had learned about love in school. Kids deserve to carry a sense of optimism and hope about their potential to create happy and healthy romantic relationships, so if what you want to tell your kids is something cynical (love is lie, women aren’t to be trusted, or there are no good men left), use that as an indicator that you would benefit from some support for yourself (like therapy or a support group or a self-help book about healing from heartbreak).
Research also indicates that our teens and young adults listen to us when we talk with them, even if they roll their eyes. Our families of origin are our original “love classrooms,” providing us with countless messages, explicit and mostly implicit, about affection, conflict, communication, tradition, commitment, loyalty, boundaries, and dependence, independence, and interdependence, and research indicates that family values are transmitted across generations (Axinn & Thornton, 1993; Willoughby et. For example, Willoughby and colleagues (2012) found that “mothers’ and fathers’ reported importance of marriage for their child did have a strong, positive effect on young adults own reported importance of marriage” (p.239) suggesting that parents’ goals for their children’s lives matter. One of the greatest gifts a parent can give their kids is a commitment to their own well-being and relational health. '' The Intergenerational Transmission of Attitudes Regarding Marital Timing and Marital Importance, I have been inept and incompetent in romantic relationship, am not in a relationship, not interested, and living a sort of hermit's life, but have a 9y old child.
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Our kids absorb tons of messages about respect just from watching how we interact with the world. Can I do any better than keeping quiet beyond the clinical basics? Tell him/her it does not mean he/she will have a difficult feeling about possible future relationship with someone significant. Maybe there are better ways and words to describe that you prefer not to be in a relationship. Do not use damaging descriptions when you speak about yourself. They learn from what we say AND from how we behave.
One way of doing that is by modeling that human bodies are amazing! I wonder who taught you expressions like "damaged goods" and "inept and incompetent in romantic relationships" when you speak about yoursef... Tell your child he/she will create his/her own future. You can live as love in your relationship with your child and that is separate and apart from the choices you make with respect to your own love life.
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