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Unless you screw your Russian girl over, and then it’s end times for you, pal.

Lord help your soul if you’ve angered a Russian girl’s family. The Russians basically invented space travel and just try to find another writer besides Nabokov who can seamlessly craft a grammatically sound sentence that is over a page in length?

But we know how to have a good time, and we know how to entertain.

What "having a good time" and "entertaining" actually look like will vary from woman to woman because, duh, we're all incredibly unique just like anyone else.

(OK, I'm being faux-cocky here for effect, but honestly, looking at it now, most of what I wrote is true.

I would just never actually say those things out loud and mean them because that's one thing Russian girls are not: overly braggy, annoying people.)Russian women get a bad reputation for the whole "mail order bride" business, but I'm here to shatter that misguided notion (sorry not sorry): Most Russian girls don't actually sell themselves to American men for money.

Chances are, she probably also knows the best place to get a plate of Golubtsy (stuffed cabbage rolls) and a slice of Medovik torte (YAASSSSS).

Just don't expect her to let anyone walk all over her.

The thing that our Russian-ness makes us all have in common?

However we personally like to have fun, and personally like to entertain, we're amazing at it. Not to be vain or anything (OK, maybe a little bit), but clothes are a pretty integral part of who we are.

For the most part, they marry humans they genuinely like, which brings me to my next point: You should absolutely consider yourself very lucky if you ever have the chance to chill with a girl from Russia.

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