Dating immediately after divorce darrin gloversville single dating

For a couple of reasons: First, you are not putting all your eggs—or hopes—into one basket.

Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.

Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .

Read on for 10 tips that will help you get back in Cupid's good graces.

Whether it's been one year or six since the divorce decree, you may never know with absolute clarity that you're truly ready for another relationship.

Or have you really moved on and are ready to explore new possibilities?

Is there such a thing as the perfect moment to start dating again?

Contemplating the dating scene, many divorced women feel not just garden-variety nerves, but "actual terror," says Dr. Just remember that your fears are normal—after all, you are dealing with or have dealt with a major betrayal and upheaval—and that you don't have to jump all the way in. Tell a few trusted friends that you're interested in meeting people. "Sit down and craft a statement of what, exactly, you're after. If you feel the same way, she offers this advice: "I suggest you try to reframe it as an adventure, or as an education," she says.

Accept invitations to parties."While it's not unheard of for a woman wounded by a painful divorce to make statements like "all men are jerks" or "all the good ones are taken," that's obviously not a good mindset to have going into dating, says Dr. "That kind of thinking can tank your mood—and cause you to limit your chances of getting out there and finding love." By forcing yourself to keep your negative thoughts in check, you'll soon be in the habit of thinking optimistically, which will in turn make you more ready to date again. You've decided to start dating—isn't that your "intention" right there? "Dating can be a way to sharpen your social skills, too." And, of course, a way to get out of the house and have some fun!

Once you "meet" someone online, it's easy, says Dr.

Kirschner, to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.

That said, don't let a fear of your children being upset or disapproving stop you from getting out there if you feel ready to.

Tags: , ,