Dating a drug addict boyfriend

Many PIRs [people in recovery] also need help establishing healthy relationships.

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A business that tries to sell useless or damaged things goes broke; a PIR who holds on to useless and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviors also goes "broke" and risks relapse.

The Big Book, page 64, says that "resentment is the 'number one' offender," and that it destroys more addicts than anything else does.

And I certainly didn't know that, as someone in a relationship with a PIR, it would have been good for me to do these Steps as well.

Now I've discovered that these "relationship" Steps are a balanced, healthy way even for non-PIRs to examine their own selves and their relationships with others.

But the Steps are especially useful if you dating a PIR, because the skills you learn from the Steps may be helpful in your relationship.

Step Four asks people to make "a searching and fearless moral inventory" of themselves.

When they were drinking and using, they may have grown used to doing whatever it took to cover up, excuse, or engage in their addictive behavior.

When it comes to an addiction disorder, deceit, manipulation, and friendships with fellow drinking or drugging buddies are too often the rule, rather than the exception.

Because of this, some PIRs may have developed trust, intimacy, or abandonment issues.

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