Dating a divorced man with two kids

So, after hiring me as his dating coach, we set to work in rebranding him on We had Tom fill out my long questionnaire and submit to an hour of questions from me on the phone.

You can see what a great experience it was in this CBS Early Show clip: What I haven’t yet mentioned is that Tom Pandolfo is 5’3″.

So stop looking for super hot chemistry and butterflies when you first meet. Ignore those men, and seek out the guys who want a relationship with someone they can relate to. Truly.◊♦◊Guys, if you’re comparing all the women you date to your ex, or you’re still blaming her for your problems, please get therapy and work this stuff out.

Another said she’d have considered th Lest you think this is an example of reality TV finding evidence to support a story, Tom tried his own experiment last week. You don’t really need to feel “protected” from the dangers of suburbia.

Sure enough, few women give a fair shake to a man who is 5’3”, no matter what else he has going for him. So I tried changing my profile for three days just to see what the difference was between being 5’3″ and 5’10”. And no amount of complaining is going to change it. And why, in God’s name, is it important to stand on your tiptoes to kiss a guy? Is there any legitimate reason not to go out with this amazing, amazing man?

I didn’t want to mention it for the same reason that Tom didn’t want to mention it in his profile: because it’s irrelevant to anything that makes him a good accountant, husband, or father. He’s just been confronted with a very ugly reality that has shaken his confidence in people.

Yet his height defines him, since it has prevented otherwise interested women from being interested in him over the course of his entire life. Okay, I’m kidding about the last part, but only because I’m so serious about the rest of this. And even though we had good initial results, the fact remains, empirically: women don’t want short men.

To see if the women would go for short guys who were successful, ABCNEWS’ Lynn Sherr created extraordinary résumés for the shorter men. Sherr asked whether there’d be anything she could say that would make the shortest of the men, who was 5 feet, irresistible. And although you can feel free to substitute “older women”, “older men”, “heavier women”, or “Asian men”, I honestly feel that nobody gets a rawer deal than short guys.

She told the women that the shorter men included a doctor, a best-selling author, a champion skier, a venture capitalist who’d made millions by the age of 25. One of the women replied, “Maybe the only thing you could say is that the other four are murderers.” Another backed her up, saying that had the taller men had a criminal record she might have been swayed to choose a shorter man. Honestly, ladies…You can get your own dishes from the top shelf.

Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.

Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .

Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.

If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.

Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? She’s going to walk away and find a grownup guy.◊♦◊Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there’s a ‘lid for every pot’, a body type for every guy. Those things are far more important than a Harvard or Yale degree, or whether or not he speaks Mandarin.◊♦◊People in big cities say it’s hard to meet anyone.

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