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I believe that plenty of Black women here have accepted this now, and would rather expand our options, but we’ve had similar experiences to Ally when we try this, which leaves us confused about how we are perceived by men in general.
I remember a few years ago only seeing older Black women with White men (my mum being an example of this), however, now lots of girls and younger women are expanding their horizons, not just because they cannot find a Black man, but because they choose non-Black men.
However, the proportion of Black men in the UK dating non-Black women eclipses that of Black women doing the same.
The majority of women I know are now trying the internet, and some have made lasting relationships, although many echo the experiences I’ve had.
The perception of the UK as a multicultural hub is true, but this is reflected poorly in the media in terms of the representation of Black women.
It seems that many Black women feel that it is our responsibility to preserve the Black community. Surely, a shared connection, chemistry and interests (which is so hard to find) are more important than having to explain to a man how a weave is sown in?
After realising that White men probably won’t walk up to me in the street and ask for a date, I tried internet dating on and off for a couple of years, and admittedly over 90% of the emails I received were from White men.
Black men in Bristol don’t give us the time of day.
But non-Black men just seem to stick with White women here.
However, I often read American blogs that advise Black women to go to Europe as it is more likely that they’ll find love with a slight irritation – dating non-Black men here is certainly no easier than anywhere else.
Couple this with the growing Western trend of many Black men seeking to date and mate with women of any other ethnicity except their own and the general invisibility of Black women in the media (when we are represented, we’re aggressive, unfeminine and not the object of any attraction) and you’ll find that Black women in the UK are facing the same conundrum as our sisters across the Atlantic.
I am a Black British teacher, and many of my friends are also in professional vocations.
We are young women open to dating other races, but being open doesn’t necessarily make finding a partner any easier. We’re tired of reading articles that tell us to widen our options as educated women and date men outside our race, because we are attempting this and it is making no difference.
When I’m with my Black girlfriends, we socialise in bars and clubs which are multicultural, and our biggest complaint about non-Black men is their lack of transparency when talking with us.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating