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In the hetero world, this means letting the guy pursue you.

Which is to say, not calling too much or being too accommodating to his needs.

What simple piece of wisdom or guidance resonated with them, and why was it so meaningful?

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My dad said something which has never left me in my 14 years of marriage, "You only have to answer to yourself. If you can live with this man don't let others influence your decision.

And always remember that this man is the father of your children." And I have always relied on this advice.

He told me that when a married couple fights, no one wins.

This advice has helped me realize that if I fight with my husband, getting in little digs doesn't matter, because it hurts us both.

You will find the perfect person who loves you as much as you love him, and you'll look back on this and laugh." While I couldn't understand then that you need to love someone who loves you back, I get it now. My grandparents died before I was born and my parents are deceased and never liked anyone I dated, really. Don't marry anyone who won't help with the cat litter box when you are away, busy or when you are sick.

Twenty years, three children and a dog later, I'm still married to the man who loved me back. The couple who served as my polestars for love shared litter box tasks (and everything else).

But I've seen miracles happen when people work at this...

everything from relationships, career, raising kids, running a home, becomes more joyous.

Sobbing on my bedroom floor, my mother, who was, and still is, head-over-heels in love with the same man for 51 years, sat down next to me, put her arm around me and said, "There are a lot of fish in the sea.

" I clearly remember wailing, "But, I want this one." She said, "All things happen for a reason.

The best advice I ever got about love was from my grandmother, right before I got married.

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